My Grandfather, the late J. A. ANDERSON

Aug. 25th, 2004
“ A TIME WHEN WE NEED A ROLE MODEL”

IN A TIME WHEN IT’S NOT ALWAYS “POPULAR” TO BE OLD-FASHIONED, OR EVEN TO BE RESPECTFUL OF THE ELDERLY. OUR GRANDFATHER PURPOSED TO SHOW US A THING OR TWO:

· HE WAS SOMEONE WHO WAS VERY PROUD OF WHERE HE CAME FROM. HE ENJOYED BEING SWEDISH AND EVERYONE ELSE KNEW IT. HE KNEW OUR FAVORITE DISH WAS THE COVETED “SWEDISH MEATBALLS”.
· HE WAS SOMEONE WHO WAS VERY PROUD THIS FINE COUNTRY, THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. HE WAS PROUD THAT HE SERVED HIS COUNTRY WITH MILITARY EXPERIENCE, COURAGE, AND VALOR. BUT ALSO IN HIS CONTINUAL SERVICE TO HIS COUNTRY AND FRIENDS AT THE AMERICAN LEGION.
· HE WAS SOMEONE WHO SHOWED US HOW TO TREAT A LADY. HE WAS A FINE GENTLEMAN.
· HE WAS SOMEONE WHO SHOWED US THAT OLDER PEOPLE CAN STILL BE FUNNY AND SOMEWHAT CORNY AT THE SAME TIME. THAT YOU ARE NEVER TO OLD TO HAVE FUN, OR PULL PRACTICAL JOKES-SO BEWARE!
· HE WAS SOMEONE WHO SHOWED US YOUNG PEOPLE WHAT IS MEANS TO WORK FOR A LIVING. HE BUILT HIS HOUSE FROM THE GOUND UP, WITH HIS OWN TWO HANDS.
· MOST IMPORTANTLY, HE WAS SOMEONE WHO WAS PROUD OF HIS OWN FAMILY. NOT ONLY HIS CHILDREN, BUT ALSO HIS GRAND CHILDREN AND GREAT-GRAND CHILD. BECAUSE IN YOUR GRAND AND GREAT-GRAND CHILDREN, YOU CAN DETERMINE HOW GOOD OF PARENTS YOUR OWN CHILDREN HAVE BECOME. IT IS YOUR FINAL DUTY AS A PARENT TO PASS ALL YOUR KNOWLEDGE AND LOVE TO YOUR OWN KIDS. I LOOK AT THE PICTURE OF MY GRANDFATHER HOLDING MY SONS’ HAND, HIS GREAT-GRANDSON, AND MY SON IS STARING UP AT HIM SMILING, AND I CAN’T TELL WHO IS MORE PROUD OF WHOM.

IN A TIME WHEN WE NEED A ROLE MODEL – WE WERE BLESSED ENOUGH TO HAVE ONE, MY GRANDPA.


This was the eulogy I spoke at my grandfather's funeral 2 years ago. He was a great person and a good grandpa. I've always wanted to acquire some of his "old-fashioned" habits and customs. Other than opening up doors for women, you don't see some of the common pratices. In respect to my grandfather and the "fairer sex", let's see what is out there for us men:

Etiquette with a lady
* If it starts to rain, take off your coat and hold it over a lady's head while you make a break for the nearest shelter.
* Hold doors open for women and let walk ahead of you.
* Give a lady your seat on a crowded bus, subway, or luncheon.
* To keep her from getting muddied by passing cars, always walk on the outside of the sidewalk.
* Try to present a gift of some sort to your lady when going out on a date, preferably not a power drill.
* Stand up when a lady leaves the table and again when she returns.
* A gentleman removes his hat when entering a room where there are ladies. When he meets a lady friend, he should raise his hat gracefully.
* It is not deemed polite and respectful to smoke in the presence of ladies, even though they are amiable enough to permit it.

Here are some examples of fine table etiquette:
* Do not play with the table utensils or crumble the bread.
* Do not put your elbows on the table, or sit too far back, or lounge.
* Do not talk loud or boisterously.
* Be cheerful in conduct or conversation.
* Never, if possible, cough or sneeze at the table.
* Never tilt back your chair while at the table, or at any other time.
* Do not talk when the mouth is full.
* Never make a noise while eating.
* Do not open the mouth while chewing, but keep the lips closed. It is not necessary to show people how you masticate your food.
* Never indicate that you notice anything unpleasant in the food.
* Do not break your bread into the soup, nor mix with gravy. It is bad taste to mix food on the plate.
* Never leave the table before the rest of the family or guests, without asking the host or hostess to excuse you.
* Eat soup with the side of the spoon, without noise.
* The fork is used to convey the food to the mouth, except when a spoon is necessary for liquids.
* Raw oysters are eaten with a fork.
* If you wish to be served with more tea or coffee, place your spoon in your saucer.
* Tea or coffee should never be poured into the saucer to cool, but sipped from the cup.
* If a dish is presented to you, serve yourself first and then pass it on.
* Never allow butter, soup or other food to remain on your whiskers.
* Never wear gloves at the table, unless your hands are for some special reason unfit to be seen.
* Never, when serving others, overload the plate nor force upon them delicacies which they decline. * Never make a great display when removing hair, insects or other disagreeable things from your food. Place them quietly under the edge of your plate.
* Eat cheese with a fork, not a knife.
* Ask a servant in a low tone for what you want.
* Break your bread, do not cut it.
* Eat fruit with silver knives and forks.
* If you prefer, take up asparagus with the fingers. Olives and artichokes are always so eaten.
* If a course is set before you that you do not wish, do not touch it.
* It is not your business to reprove the waiter for improper conduct; that belongs to your host.
* A gentleman must help a lady whom he has escorted to the table, to all she wishes; but it is improper for him to offer to help other ladies who have escorts.
* Use a napkin only for your mouth. Never use it for your nose, face or forehead.
* It is very rude to pick your teeth at the table. If it becomes necessary to do so, hold your napkin over your mouth. - "How To Mow The Lawn" by Sam Martin, 2005

There you have it. I have a lot of work to do! They are not life or death, but I think all men could stretch themselves in the lost art of being a man. Learn how to truly treat a lady, and help her get to know the hero in you.

"The true gentleman is one who has been fashioned after the highest models...his qualities depend not on fashion or manners but upon moral worth--not on personal possessions but upon personal qualities" - "Happy Homes and the Hearts that Make Them", 1882

PROVERB 31:10
Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.

PROVERS 20:7
The just man walketh in his integrity: his children are blessed after him.